The Moment

Have you ever wondered why some people are able to confront a problem or stressful situation with calm assurance? They don’t seem to react like others who become intense and anxious. Why is that? They have learned to step outside the moment.

The Ability

This leader ability is more than just their personality disposition. It is more than experience, having been through similar situations. It is more than learning the knowledge and skills to do so. While these really help, there is another factor that makes all the difference.

I receive a weekly email blast from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. In his last email, he highlighted this very point so well. He wrote,

“A valuable skill in life is to be larger than the situation. When you’re feeling stressed or rattled, the situation is consuming you. It feels bigger and more important than it needs to be. This is when your emotions are likely to get the best of you.

But when you are larger than the situation, you can mentally “step outside and above it.” Yes, there are problems to be solved. Yes, you need to take action. But the chaos is happening externally and you are still in the driver’s seat internally. You’re in control of the moment, the moment is not in control of you.”

This ability is a demonstration of executive presence and leadership. It is something I discovered a while back. Since then, I have been diligent in applying this perspective in all kinds of situations, although stumbling along the way. By adopting a mindset that I am bigger than what is in front of me, my behavior is better regulated to be appropriate to the moment. And we all know the importance of self-regulation for effective leadership.

The Response

When you are able to step outside the situation and not be sucked into the emotional swirl, you have a better chance to assess what is really happening and determine your best options to respond. If you remain inside the situation, your vision is narrow and tainted by emotion, which may lead you to react rather than respond.

When you encounter a problem or stressful situation, how would you assess your ability to step outside the chaos and emotional intensity? What triggers you and holds you captive to the moment? When you know these things about yourself, you will be able to respond as the statured leader that you aspire to be. All because you know how to step outside the moment.