We Disappoint Ourselves

As professionals, we are constantly having to address stress, whether it’s induced by work, home or other personal adversities. But one area where we create stress is when we disappoint ourselves.

What Is Disappointment?

Disappointment is felt when expectations are not met. It’s one thing to be disappointed by others. It happens on a regular basis and we find ways of dealing with it. But what about when we disappoint ourselves? When we have expectations of ourselves and we don’t meet them, it gnaws on our mental and emotional wellbeing. You know, the things we know we should or shouldn’t do, but we do/don’t do them anyway. We suffer disappointing ourselves and that’s stressful.

We must be vigilant to mature into our better self, which includes living up to our ideals. It’s true some of our standards may be out of whack and need to be realigned. But many of our missed expectations are sabotaged by our own doing, much to our regret.

Reduce Disappointment

In our training and coaching, we teach people the personal and interpersonal management skills they need to overcome the habit of disappointing themselves. We often hear of how people apply what they learned that has made a difference for them. In some recent coaching calls following their firm’s training, these are some of the comments they made that reduced disappointing themselves.

• Working off of a narrow task list instead of an overwhelming to-do list allowed them to stay focused and accomplish more.
• Using “routine strategies” to get to bed earlier so they felt rested the next day.
• Negotiating ahead of time when their commitments can’t be met protected their credibility.
• Stepping away from their work periodically throughout the day kept them fresh and engaged.
• Being conscious of the pitfalls when communicating through email or text that reduced misunderstandings.
• Repeating one simple task that prompted them to enter their time daily.
• Practicing certain habits of excellence so they took pride in their work.

These aren’t necessarily big adjustments. But collectively, they ease the psychological toll of disappointment. Living up to their own expectations is essential to their wellbeing. Taking pride in their professional development is an experience we all seek.

Your Disappointment

You know the small ways you disappoint yourself. Will you take action to align your behavior to meet your higher expectations? Or will you continue to allow unmet expectations create disappointment in yourself? What is one thing you could take on? What will you do differently?