I was coaching a firm Partner recently about one of her managers. She’s smart, technically strong, gets her work done, and the firm sees a lot of potential in her. But the Partner was frustrated because she wasn’t really stepping into leadership.

My first question was, “Have you talked with her about it?”

She had. Then she walked me through how that conversation went. The Partner had been doing what many of us do. She was explaining what the manager needed to do differently. Delegate more, speak up, be more confident. You know, take more ownership. All good advice.

But it wasn’t changing much. So we talked about approaching the next conversation differently. Instead of telling her what she needed to fix, what if she asked, “What do you think is getting in your way?” On our call the following month, she said she did it! And guess what?

That question changed the conversation. The manager shared that she was hesitant to delegate because she didn’t want to overwhelm her team. She avoided difficult feedback because she wanted people to like her. And, if she was being honest, she wasn’t sure she was ready to be seen as a leader.

That’s a very different development conversation – not a technical problem to solve. And that’s what I mean when I talk about professional skills. They aren’t something we teach once and check off a list. We develop them in the real moments: when someone has to delegate, give feedback, make a decision, build trust or lead through something uncomfortable.

So here’s the question I’d ask: Are you giving your future leaders more advice, or more opportunities to practice?

Because sometimes the best development opportunity is the conversation sitting right in front of you.