Finding role models is a most difficult task. Where is the right one for you? Does that person even exist? How will you progress without one? With all the emphasis on finding the right mentor, it only adds pressure to find one—the right one.

Well, here’s an insight—there isn’t ONE for you. No one person can be the complete role model you’re looking for because no one person has it all. For every aspect you admire, there are deficiencies that you can’t ignore. In addition, your mentoring needs will change over time, requiring someone else who can guide you through the next stage of your career.

Rather than look for a person, look for a characteristic that is exemplified in a person. That way, you capture the best in someone without being disappointed in how they fall short. In fact, much of what I teach, coach and write about comes from what I’ve learned by observing, reflecting and imitating the best in others. How do they do that? What makes them so effective? What do they do that others don’t? What can I learn and apply to my own development?

For instance, how can young professionals learn to respond professionally when they are treated unprofessionally by those who should know better?

Or how can supervisors take charge of meetings so they stay on track, end on time and get to the next step?

Or how can managers know how and when to effectively address resistance about fees without sounding defensive or simply giving in?

These skills and others are what separate technicians from high performers. If you want to develop certain skills and behavior, look to others who exemplify how you aspire to be. You are far more likely to accelerate your ability because you can see those characteristics in action.

So rather than beginning with who, first determine what—what trait or behavior do you aspire to develop? That’s how you learn from the best.