One of the challenges of leadership is understanding what’s important to others whose behavioral styles are different from yours. What they want and need is different from what you want and need.

For instance, some of your staff want challenges, responsibility and the opportunity to demonstrate what they can do. If you aren’t wired that way, you are likely to dismiss their needs as ambition run amuck—just wanting to get ahead of others (and you). “You’re not qualified so shut up and do as you’re told” isn’t a very helpful response. What they need an environment that challenges them to grow and achieve. Anything less is disengaging.

Others need relational harmony with you and with their colleagues. If comfortable relationships aren’t that important to you, you’ll underestimate how essential the emotional tone of the group is for them. “This is not a social hour, it’s work. So get to it.” misses the point entirely. They need to know that the team is pulling together. Without that confidence, you get less from them.

Because of your lack of understanding (translated, ignorance), you minimize their needs. You sacrifice what’s important to them for what’s important to you. As long as they conform to you and your preferences, that’s all that matters. It’s no wonder you don’t get the love they should give you. Instead, you get whining, gossiping, resistance, or outright refusal.

At some point, you have to acknowledge that your staff have legitimate needs you don’t understand. As a leader, you have an obligation to know what they are and find ways of meeting them.

 

The 20^th century “boss” demands what s/he wants. The 21^st century “leader” creates an environment where staff want to perform. It’s really not that difficult a concept, but it does take effort, thoughtfulness and a bit of humility. This week, take note of the needs of others you lead and create an environment for them to thrive and succeed. Now you get it.