Everyone struggles with being misunderstood by others. You become frustrated that others assign motive and intent to you that are only partially correct or not true at all.

Others do it to you and you do it to them. You see, you only have one filter to interpret what people say and do—your own. So you observe their behavior and ask yourself, “What would I have to be thinking and feeling to do or say that?” Your answer reveals the intent you would have, so you impose it on them. Much of the time, you are dead wrong. But that doesn’t stop you from doing so.

Think of those you work with. Staff, colleagues, partners, clients, referral sources—you name it—all misinterpret you and you them. You think, “if they only knew my intentions, they would understand my behavior.” Sometimes that’s true; sometimes not. But regardless, the misunderstanding continues.

Instead of being like everyone else, why don’t you take the time to understand others from their point of view rather than imposing motive based on yours?

>When people are short with you, they don’t intend to disrespect you. They are stressed and time-constrained.

>When others are silent in a discussion, they aren’t bored or clueless. They are framing up their response about what they actually think about the issue.

>When people won’t give you feedback, it isn’t because they are ignoring you or don’t care about you. They have something difficult to tell you and haven’t found the right time or words, or they have nothing to say.

This week, go the extra mile and seek to understand the real intent and motives of those around you. Give them the benefit of the doubt, allowing them to have intentions and motives that are different from yours, even though the behavior may look the same.