Why is it that you can recall dozens times when others have not communicated well or timely with you, but you struggle to identify even one instance where you under-communicated? Ok, maybe that one time. But otherwise, you’re pretty good. Or so you think.

If I were to ask others whether you under-communicate, I would get a resounding YES. It doesn’t add up. How can you assess yourself as a good communicator but no one else agrees?

Communication 101: when you communicate something, you are doing it for the benefit of another. Since you already know the information, it serves you little, except that it forces you to organize your thoughts into a coherent structure. So why do you use your standard of what and when to communicate? If it’s for the benefit of others, why don’t you use their standard?  The point is that you are using the wrong benchmark to determine if you are under-communicating.

The question isn’t, Do you under-communicate? The question is, “HOW and WHEN do you under-communicate?

This would be a good time to get feedback. Ask around, but don’t be surprised by the answer because it is likely to be unflattering. And whatever you do, avoid becoming defensive. Remember, you can defend yourself to your grave but you’ll be buried anyway. Your defense may sound like this:

“You didn’t need to know that.”
“I had it under control. Trust me.”
“That information wasn’t important at that moment.”
“I told you what you need to know and when you need to know it.”

So, get over yourself and just assume you don’t communicate fully, timely or in a way that satisfies others. Then determine to meet their standards. If you do, you will lose the under-communicator status. Only then could you legitimately say that you’re a good communicator.