First, realize that not all “feedback” is feedback. Sometimes it’s actually advice (you should or you shouldn’t). Other times it’s really someone’s opinion (I think you made a mistake/your way is ineffective.) Periodically it’s really a disagreement (I don’t like the way you…). While technically these are forms of feedback, they aren’t intended to be developmental. It’s more noise than anything else.
When receiving feedback, keep in mind these principles.
Assume best intent. Sincerely appreciate what you get. Even if there was a negative ulterior motive, accept it graciously. You want to be known as someone who welcomes and appreciates feedback so you don’t inhibit those who want your best.
Look for the gold. What did they see, hear or experience that led them to say what they said? Get over how they said it or evaluate how much they really knew of the situation. Ask yourself, where is the tiny nugget of truth that you need to hear and could use?
Test feedback. Consult with people who will tell you the truth, but realize that these supporters are hard to find because your friends and advocates don’t want to pile on. So they bail you out with false assurances that you really aren’t that way or you didn’t deserve that feedback.
Take it beyond the moment or circumstance. Rather than analyze how accurate it is in a specific situation, consider it from a more comprehensive view, over time and situation.
In the end feedback should make you better and more effective. Regardless of their motives, use all of it for your purposes, not theirs.
Read Related Blogs:
During a recent coaching conversation I had with a partner, he listed all the things that weren’t going well. Some of his complaints were common among other partners in other firms. Some were specific to his firm or his situation. The Golden Insight About half way...read more
You and I have been misled. Sorta. We have been told that stress is bad for you, causing all kinds of problems, illnesses and disease. The research and studies over the years seem to have validated this belief. But what we didn’t know until recently is that stress is...read more