I recently completed a two-day training at a top drawer firm and inevitably, a discussion ensued about dealing with difficult clients. People bemoaned about how they have been victims of demanding, persnickety and unrealistic clients. Everyone had stories where they felt abused or taken advantage of.
But really, difficult clients are often “difficult” only because they want to be served in a way that is outside your standard ways. They make some request that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and provide something that you are unaccustomed to doing. That’s what makes them difficult.

In those cases, it’s not them. It’s you. When you resist stepping outside of your standard ways, you’re essentially saying that you want them to love you and be delighted with the way you want to serve them, regardless of whether it suits them. You’re saying, “You should like being served the way I do it. If you don’t, you are a difficult client.” Of course, that’s not what you mean to communicate so be careful or you’ll begin sounding like some of the people at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

The more fixed you are in your ways, the more you will have difficult clients. Why? Because all clients have expectations and preferences that vary. They don’t see those variances as difficult. They see them as normal, at least for them. You’re the one who sees them as unnecessary and outlandish.

And don’t be surprised when they become even more demanding when you miss something, like an error in the deliverable, or a deadline or the budget or a promise. Their demands increase because they feel like they have to manage you and protect themselves. While there’s no question that some clients are bitten by the control bug, not all of them are. You just have to work harder to earn their confidence.

So think of the clients you consider to be difficult. Then examine their demands. Are they really that unreasonable or do they simply want something outside your standard ways? Be honest. Be flexible. Then watch their difficulty diminish.