The times you are the busiest, the most stressed and tired, are the times when you are the worst at communicating. Under these conditions, your communication can be really bad. It’s also at a time when clear communication is most critical because your crushed.

Even though life is hectic and chaotic, you are still responsible for the message you communicate. Think of it like running a relay race. You have the baton and as you pass it to the next runner, you are responsible for it. If it drops, it’s on you. You can’t blame the other person for it. You let go ONLY when you are sure the other has a hold of it.

There are three common ways to drop the communication baton. The first is no communication. It happens every day when you don’t say something because “it goes without saying.” In other words, anyone should know, so why even mention it? This is when you blame each other for the dropped baton. Depending on where you are in the hierarchy will determine who wins. Regardless, you both lose because the baton is lying on the ground.

The second is under-communication. When you instruct someone about what you want but elect not to give them the context, like why you want it that way or how it fits into the project, you don’t give the person enough information to handle even the slightest variation. They have to track you down to get further instruction or make a decision on their own with nothing to go on. This is another opportunity to blame each other, while the baton is lying on the ground.

The third is miscommunication. With very little time to spare, you give quick directions, expecting others to fill in all the things you didn’t say that you thought you said. Psychologists call it Signal Amplification Bias, which is psycho-speak for “you only thought you communicated well.” Once again you blame each other while the baton is lying on the ground.

When you take responsibility for ensuring people hear you, understand you and can act on your request, then you can let go. Just don’t let go too early. It’s too hard to explain to a client why their baton is on the ground.