Jimbo Fisher, head coach for the Florida Seminoles, passionately described to one of his players something he did wrong. The player seemed to shut down and stopped listening, which frustrated his coach. Jimbo had something important to say but the player refused to hear it because of the way it was being said. The player ran the risk of missing a valuable moment in his development. So Fisher reportedly told the player that he should listen to what he was saying and not how he was saying it.

Hmm. That’s an interesting dilemma because we know that HOW you say something matters as much as what you say. That is, your message can get lost, minimized or misinterpreted by the way you communicate it. You’ve had that experience at both ends—from delivering a message to someone and hearing a message from someone—both covered in the crud of how the message was communicated.

The “crud” around the pearl of wisdom could be aggressive and harsh, or it can be soft and vague. Either way, the pearl is covered so that the true value of what’s being said is hidden or even lost.

This is one of those multi-layered situations. Yes, when communicating, HOW you say something DOES matter. Yes, you ARE responsible to make your communication as clear as possible so it isn’t misunderstood. Yes, speaking without any regard for the person IS irresponsible on your part.

AND.

And as the one spoken to, buried underneath the crud, there is a message you need to hear. A message that you will benefit by taking note of. A message that you may not have heard before to the level of importance you are hearing it.

Those who want to get better know that those pearls of observation, insight and wisdom of others, no matter how much they are coated in crud, are valuable. Be someone who can shine those pearls and cash them in.