Your leadership is on display all the time. You are always demonstrating whether you’re worth following or not. And one of the best times to exhibit your leadership is how you handle conflict.

Few people look forward to being in conflict, but it’s a part of life as a professional and as a leader. So rather than avoid it, ignore it or yield to it, engage it. Effectively. Demonstrate your leadership by becoming adept at these three things.

1. Think right. People generally want what is best, even though their ideas may be polar opposite to yours.  If you assume best intent, it forces you to understand their point of view and why it makes so much sense to them.  This is difficult because you believe that if you take the time to understand, you are agreeing with them.  Not so.  Understanding and agreeing are two entirely different things.

2. Behave right. Throttle down, put your own position aside and listen.   As you seek to understand and are able to convey your understanding, they will have less of a need to battle you and be more willing to hear you out.  This is difficult because as soon as they say something you disagree with, you want to jump in to counter their argument. Just shut up and let them finish. You’ll have your turn next.

3. Do right. Having assumed best intent and having understood each other, you are prepared to engage in finding a solution.  Just remember these points:

·         Get over the thought of a perfect solution.  It doesn’t exist.

·         The best solution to you isn’t very good if others won’t go along with you or can’t buy into it.

·         A short term experiment to get moving and test the solution is better than holding out for everything you want.

You won’t be perfect at first, but you will soon be viewed as being honest and fair. You know, the kind of leader worth following.