1 min readAsk The Second Question
by Guy Gage | November 9, 2015 | Business
Unfortunately, if you do this as a habit, you present yourself to be less than you are. Here’s why.
When someone asks you a question, there is a motive—some reason to ask it. So you have to guess their intent. And whatever you think they really mean will determine how you respond. If you guessed correctly, you’re ok. Otherwise, not so much.
Take a simple question like, “What did you say the schedule would be?” The obvious response is to explain the schedule information again, assuming they missed it the first time. But what if they had a different motive for asking? What if they were really raising an objection to some aspect of the schedule? What if they wanted to know how you arrived at the schedule details? What if they were really concerned about your ability to complete the engagement as scheduled? If you don’t ask the second question, your response will miss the mark most of the time.
Besides learning the actual intent of the question and ensure your response is relevant and appropriate, it demonstrates that you care enough to listen and understand what they really want. It also gives you a chance to organize your response by tone and substance. You win all around by asking the second question.
“Let me make sure I understand. Do you want to know…?”
“OK. Tell me more about that.”
“What is it about _____________ you’re unsure of?”
“So what were you thinking about this?”
Asking the second question isn’t natural. Those who do it have disciplined themselves to skillfully respond appropriately. Have you learned this yet?
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