Whenever your engagements start to go south, it’s an indication you’re losing control of them. It’s easy to happen because nothing ever goes the way it’s planned, and if you don’t keep an eye on them, they will get away from you in an instant. If you aren’t in control of them, they get in control of you—they own you. Then you’re backpedaling, scrambling and reacting.

Here are 3 common gripes that are evidence that you are losing your grip.

• Feeling frustrated with progress. Things are not going according to plan, so rather than investigate and adjust, you accept it and allow it to take its new natural course, griping the whole time that nothing ever goes the way it’s supposed to.

• Feeling overwhelmed with everything. There is too much going on to be on top of everything, so you allow some things to go on their own. You risk something falling through the cracks and you gripe that you’re overloaded and can’t be expected to cover everything.

• Feeling irritated with people. Your team isn’t following through, not producing good work, or not communicating with you. Instead of having the difficult conversations when they fail to meet their agreements and expectations, you gripe about the lack of commitment or judgment. After all, you’re convinced that people don’t change, so why bother?

Here’s an idea: rather than gripe about it, get a grip on it. Every moment you complain, bellyache and rehash, you aren’t problem solving, innovating or adjusting. Remember, your brain can only do one thing at a time—either griping or gripping.

So, when you start to feel like you’re losing control, do something. Don’t just allow yourself to be owned by the situation. Get a grip and don’t let go.