Don’t you just hate it when you have to initiate an uncomfortable conversation? No matter what it’s about or who it’s with, your first reaction is how to get around it, avoid it, ignore it—anything but have it.

This is especially true regarding those who are looking for your confidence in them. Your people need to earn your confidence. They want to earn your confidence. The problem is you haven’t been very clear about what they need to do to get it.

When you have confidence conversations with your people, you force yourself to determine why they don’t have it and ensure your reasons are legitimate.  Otherwise, you appear arbitrary, petty and unreasonable.

You should evaluate your people in three primary areas to determine why your confidence in them wanes. I was going to add a fourth, integrity; but if their integrity is questionable, you should be having employment discussions, not confidence conversations.

The first is attitude. No matter how talented they are, their contributions should never give them license to spew negativity. Once they are established in your firm, they will be even less likely to assume responsibility for their attitude. Save yourself the agony of having to take care of it later.

Next is getting results. In the end, results matter, as long as they are achieved within the boundaries of integrity. Those who get results are go-to people because they’ve earned the confidence of others. Effort and attitude, with no results, don’t really mean that much.

Finally, lack of experience affects confidence. Sometimes people need wisdom and judgment, which only come from experience. If that’s the case, they need to know it’s a time-in-position thing and not because you don’t think they’re capable or you’re holding a grudge.

This week, take the time to clear things up and have confidence conversations. They want to know why they don’t have yours and what they can do about it. It’s only right; it’s only fair.