During a recent coaching conversation I had with a partner, he listed all the things that weren’t going well. Some of his complaints were common among other partners in other firms. Some were specific to his firm or his situation.

The Golden Insight

About half way through the meeting, there was a brief pause. Rather than interrupt the moment, I remained silent and allowed him to be lost in thought. Then he spoke with an insight that seasoned maturity knows well. He said, “You know, with all the griping we do, 95% of the population would gladly trade places with us.” Having made his observation, he exhaled, relieved that life isn’t so bad and could be worse.

The Problem is Inside

I have a number of clients and friends for whom nothing is good with them. They are full of complaints and gripes for everything large and small. What would it take for them to arrive at the same aha moment as this partner?

But that’s the problem. When nothing is going right, it’s easy to blame everything “out there” as wrong, when it’s really that things “in here” aren’t right. Now that’s a hard realization to admit.

The Lesson to Remember

If it’s not alright inside of you it will never be alright outside of you. There will always be problems you magnify, frustrations that bug you, irritations that get the best of you. And then you get sucked into in a downward spiral that ends in your life being miserable.

What to Do

Since it’s not out there, you must decide about your life satisfaction by choosing your perspective. You have to CHOOSE to enjoy your life, your situation. Otherwise, you are left to struggle through the jungle of vines and roots and overgrowth of things that taint and overwhelm reality. Where are the good things? Where is your good fortune?